Ever After
by Nimue the Gray
Summary: The promised day has came and passed. The world didn’t end. Fuuma ended up as the sakurazukamori’s apprentice. Why?
1. Chapter 1

**Ever after**

Fuuma has several explanations to offer of why he decided to become the sakurazukamor's apprentice after Kamui sacrificed his life to save him and the world. The first one is that after everything that happen, did anyone expect him to go back to school? He tried for a while and he felt like he would go insane. Surrounded by people who understood nothing of what had happened during the last year, who lost family and friends because of him. Trying to find companionship among the seals was equally impossible. They claimed to not hate him but in truth there was too much bad blood to ever be overcome. Fuuma remembers everything he did as Dark Kamui, as well as the perfect clarity he felt back then. The clarity is lost now, but it's still hard to feel sorry for the horrible things he did. At the moment it felt like the only choice he had. Maybe it was. The current sakurazukamori passes no judgement. It fits Fuuma perfectly. Besides, it was harder than he thought to lose the magic 1999 brought. The sakurazukamori still has magic and Fuuma finds that deeply unfair.

"I studied all my life," Subaru had commented with distain. "Power doesn't come for free."  
"Teach me your magic then," Fuuma had said, mostly out of desperation. He didn't want Subaru to walk out of his life.

"Why not?" And then it was settled. Why Fuuma stays with Subaru is a more complicated question than why he went there in the first place.

* * *

Subaru might try to lay claim on the sakurazukamori's typical lack of emotion and Fuuma applauds the effort. Whatever happens Subaru speaks softly with a slightly bored tone. Around Fuuma he is slightly more animated. Every feeling he has is muted and quiet, easy to miss if you don't know what you are looking for. But he needs to work on the actual words. It's obvious that Subaru still cares. For a certain definition for 'care', that is. The letters from Seishirou is one example of that. Subaru treats the letters he found in Seishirou's old apartment like they were love letters. Fuuma read through them while Subaru was away and was not impressed. They were filled with detailed instructions of the responsibility of the sakurazkamori as well as descriptions of rituals so nasty that Fuuma felt ill. Subaru must have taken the fact that Seishirou bothered to write anything as a good sign. While not dreaming of Seishirou Sakurazukamori Subaru deals salvation and death with equal care and ease. Fuuma has seen him comfort grieving ghosts and send them away with well-wishes. He has also seen Subaru rip the beating heart of a vengeful woman who claimed she didn't care if she lived or died. Careful what you wish for. It's ironic that Fuuma has a problem with this. But as Kamui he could see into the hearts of humans. Subaru simply takes their word for if they want to live or not.

"I hate you," Fuuma had said after such an incident. He didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out in the confusion.

"It's only appropriate," Subaru had agreed. "The proper order of succession is for you to kill me. I will not get mad if you try."

Fuuma had tried once, a couple of weeks later. Subaru had killed a little girl because she was on the sakurazukamori hit list. It had ended badly for Fuuma. Subaru had beaten him down without even trying.

"I though you wanted to die," Fuuma had said, not without bitterness. He had been certain that Subaru was going to kill him.

"I do," Subaru had said, looking surprised over how anyone could doubt it. "But it would be an insult to Seishirou and the legacy of the sakurazukamori if I died too easily. You are welcome to try again when you get stronger."

Level up and try the final boss again. Fuuma had almost laughed. It was all so unreal.

* * *

"Seishirou thought it was a beautiful thing to be killed by the one you love, someone who loves and hates you with equal passion. I don't think I can live up to that part of the sakurazukamori tradition."  
Subaru always gets talkative when he had a little to drink. Fuuma can't stop himself from asking questions. It's like poking an infected wound.

"But maybe you get stronger again," Subaru continues, more cheerful this time. His hand reaches for the glass eye with something that might have been longing. "I think I would like if you were able to hurt me again. Sometimes I am such a bad sakurazukamori…"

At moments like that Fuuma regrets his decision to tie himself to a masochistic assassin. He doesn't want to be dragged down in Subaru's psychosis of self-loathing and strange sense of obligation. Yet, he goes nowhere. He hands Subaru another drink while the older man keeps talking. Fuuma knows he played his part in making Subaru into what he is today. Strange, after all he has done it's Subaru he feels regrets about. No one else Fuuma met wished for as unhealthy things as he did. Fuuma gave it to him without hesitation when all Subaru really _needed_ was someone that would care about him without conditions. He owes it to Subaru to see it play out to the bitter end. Beyond layer upon layer of excuses and explanations that is the real reason he stays. Is he going to get stronger and kill Subaru, like the sakurazukamori so obviously wishes? Or will Fuuma's corpse be buried under a cherry tree as so many others? The future isn't decided anymore and somehow that fills Fuuma with hope. Maybe there can be a third ending, even if Fuuma can't see how at the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Sometimes Fuuma isn't sure what Subaru is trying to teach him. But he has the basics of exorcism by now, even if he wouldn't dare to actually take on an angry ghost by himself. The sakurazukamori things come more sporadically, mostly when Subaru is in a bad mood. Most of it is ridiculously complicated and not nearly as easy as Seishirou made it look. Fuuma starts to think it would be better to just get a gun.

The two of them exists on the edges of society, either called in when nothing else helps or quietly coming to remove a threat and then disappear again. Fuuma prefers it that way. He doesn't watch TV or read newspapers anymore. Everything comes back to the great disaster and he doesn't want to know, doesn't want to hear the stories of the survivors. But the near end of the world left a lot of work for both the Sumeragi and the sakurazukamori. It seems like they will never run out of work. Subaru's relatives work too, cousins whose names constantly escapes Fuuma and who are terrified of the head of the clan. Fuuma can't blame them. Subaru never looks happy to see them. But those relatives never worried Fuuma. The grandmother, former head of the clan, is the scary one.

He greets her as politely as he can possible can. But he knows better than trying to have a less formal conversation with her. He tried once. It had seemed like a good idea. The two of them were the people who worried about Subaru. They should combine their efforts to make him better. But the old witch had looked at him like he was something nasty Subaru had found in the sewer.

"I know exactly what who you are," she had said. "I would tell you to stay away from my grandson if I thought it would help. But you are not welcome in my home."

"Subaru is ten years older than me," Fuuma had protested. "If anything, he is the bad influence on me."  
And that was of course the worst thing he possible could have said. The witch was in a wheelchair and she still kicked his ass. Not physically of course but with summoned doves who tried to pick his eyes out. A year ago he could have taken her easily. Thinking about that didn't exactly mend his pride. If he stayed behind in the car it would be like admitting she had won. But Fuuma tries to not think about the way he uses Subaru as a shield between them.

Today's conversation between Subaru and his grandmother begins friendly with the two of them talking about Sumeragi business. Subaru has been frighteningly effective in his exorcisms and police consultations. Then comes the dreaded subject of Subaru's second job. Fuuma redraws slightly, fiddling with his wristwatch behind Subaru. He never liked conflict.

"I don't _have_ a personal life," Subaru hisses. "I can hold three jobs if I cared."

"But," his grandmother begins and Subaru interrupts again.

"I never asked anything of you, except to be left alone. You know there must be both Sumeragi and Sakurazuka to protect Japan. Darkness, light, balance and all that. You were the only who taught me that."

"It was never supposed to be the same person."

"I can't change it now," Subaru says and his voice drips of poison. Fuuma wishes he could see his face. "And you really don't need to hear this Fuuma."  
Fuuma isn't sure if he wants to hear the rest or not so he does as Subaru wants and waits in the car.

* * *

All the emotional de-attachment had washed away during the conversation. Subaru strides out of the house with murder in his eyes. Fuuma quickly gets out of the car. He has seen this kind of mood before, in himself, and he doesn't want to be on the other side of it. Especially not in a closed space like the car. There is a bus station not far away…

Around Subaru the grass begins to wither very slowly. When he gets closer Fuuma recoils from the heat emerging from the older man. The surface cracks when Subaru lays his hand on the car. Finally Fuuma understands why Subaru is always so muted, so quiet and controlled. What he actually feels is too much to deal with.

"What happened?" Fuuma asks a normal question in a normal voice.

"How dares she," Subaru says, quietly and furiously. "She wants to make one of my talentless cousins into the new head of the family. That will not happen. Why does she even suggest such a thing?"

Subaru sounds so genuinely hurt that Fuuma bits down all the things he could have said. It seems like only Subaru doesn't see a problem with having a Sumeragi who murders people on his part time job.

"I guess she is worried about you," Fuuma weakly suggests. There is no sane thing to say really.

Subaru gives him a poisonous glance.

"She is worried about her precious reputation. People don't know I am the sakurazukamori. She shouldn't worry."

"I don't think it's the reputation. I think she doesn't like that you kill people." Damn sensibility, the old witch has a point.  
"People who deserves to die, who needs to die."  
"Like that little girl?"

"I'm not having this conversation again," Subaru says, like they were having a lovers spats and not a serious disagreement over murdering children. "Better to deal with a problem in time than to wait until the disaster already happened."  
"It doesn't make it alright."  
"Says you, who destroyed half of the city. The reason everyone in Tokyo lost at least a family member or friend. I am the one exorcising the ghosts of your games. If anyone know you were responsible you would have been hunted down by an angry mob long ago. Think about that while you walk home."  
Subaru pushes him aside and gets into the car. Fuuma just stares. It's like Subaru has transformed in front of his eyes, into yet another person who hates him for what he never asked for and couldn't control. Before Fuuma can collect his thoughts again Subaru has driven off.


End file.
